Your First Birthday

11/14/2010

My Angel Kamryn,
           Today is your first birthday! But instead of filling out gift tags and birthday cards and writing you a letter to give you when you are 18 I am writing to you here. I had so many plans and dreams for you, ones that I will never know if you will fulfill or if you will set your own. I know I would have been proud of you in anything you did. I am still so proud of you. You have done so much, even if you were not with us very long. You touched so many peoples lives and changed mine so much! I have completely changed from who I was before I was pregnant with you, I don't do any of the 'things' that I used to and even finally went back to school like I had talked about after you were born. I cant believe that I would have changed so much so quickly but it was all because of you.

      You will be a big sister soon, I know you have been a wonderful one! But it was because of the joy that you brought me in daddy that we had the strength to try again. And I'm sure that you would like to meet her and play with her but can you please come down and do it. I would prefer her not to go up and live with you for about 90 more years, I just cant do it again baby girl.

       Me, daddy, gramma, Aunt  Liz and Uncle Will set sky lanterns off for you tonight. They were so beautiful and peaceful! I hope you could see them from heaven :)

       I hope you are having a wonderful first birthday up there, which I'm sure you are. And I know that they say you are in a better place but it has become so hard to believe. I think that you should be here with me, I think that is the best place for you. And I know that it is selfish, but I wanted to plan you first birthday, I wanted to see your first steps (as you would now be walking-probably wobbly-around her), I wanted to be able to hear your laugh and see your smile, I wanted to be able to worry about every little thing you, but I just never got the chance...

I Love You Baby Girl!!
<3 Mommy