About Me

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Murfreesboro, Tennessee
^KL^ Kamryn Lynn. My SIDS angel taken from me at 2 days old (11/14-16/2009)KM- Kylie Marie. My rainbow baby. Who is 2 1/2 and always keeping me on my toes J- JJ. My gf who I love so much and is going through this journey right by my side ME :) Kimberlee. I am 23 and TotSchool-ing KM. This is my blog on how I 'raise my rainbow' through child-led learning and life. This is where the journey of our growing family will be

Friday, November 11, 2011


On Thursdays I go into work at 4 so my sister, who lives with my mom, watches Kylie til my mom gets home and takes over. When I dropped Kylie off my sister, E, had been asleep. I just assumed that she had been taking a nap. While I was at work my mom had texted me saying that E was asleep when she got home and Kylie was waking up. Now I don't know whether Ky woke up as my mom was coming in or had been up for a little. I had responded back that with E's recent actions that I was getting to the point of not being comfortable with E watching Ky by herself. My mom brought Ky up to my work around 8 and I got to spend time with them. Around 930 E finally woke up and met us up there.  E helped me close down the store (she works there too).
Here is the conversation as we were leaving work:
E: I'm gunna go get fucked up.
Me: umm, okay.
E: Yeah I already took a bar today. That's why I was passed out.
Me: Why you were watching me daughter?!? E, I'm getting to the point were I don't want you to be
        watching Kylie by yourself.
E: Fine. I won't watch her anymore.Me: So glad being fucked up is so important to you.

I go to get Ky and my mom asked were E is so I said she went to go hang out. Im so mad at this point. All I could think about was all the things that could have gone wrong. "E, is never watching Kylie again." After my mom kept questioning me to why. I finally told her.  My mom was already mad because she didn't kow that E was going out and my mom ask her just to let her know so that she can know that everything is right. Once E got home they had this whole discussion. My mom told her that she needs to straighten up her act. {E has been going off the wire. She is drunk or on "bars"(xannax) or "tabs"(loratabs) all the time. She drives around messed up, by the way she doesnt have a driver's license, insurance, or the car that she bought months ago registered in her name.} So my mom told her to straighten up or to get out of her house.  She made the choice to leave.

As hateful as it sounds I could care less where she is or what she is doing she was texting me last night. I guess I messed up her life and how this is how she is. I didn't care how she is. I've been done the "crazy" road. I got to rock bottom and cleaned my life up. I know what she was doing and thought that it was stupid but whatever I never told her how to live her life.  I just thought that she would be able to be responsible when taking care of my daughter.  Guess I've lost my sister. My daughter's life is too important to worry about hurting her feelings...