Second Chances

I saw this and had to write a blog.  I know I've talked about this before but it has come to my mind so often. Kylie wouldn't be here if Kamryn still was, in all honesty. As hard as it is to think about it is the truth. I would have gotten an IUD at 6 weeks PP instead of counting down the days till my depo was going to wear of so I could jump head first into TTC.

So was Kylie my second chance? In a way, I believe. My second chance to show me that miracle of life.  I don't know if I would be in this happy spot if things hadn't unfolded in this way. Okay, Okay, I know that sounds so wrong! Im not saying that this is the option that I would have chosen cause trust me I DO NOT WANT THIS! I would not want Kamryn to be dead. I would not even want Kylie to have to grow up with this. 

But  Kamryn's life changed me. It turned me into the person that I am today. The person I was before I got pregnant with Kamryn was very unsteady. I have learned the value of a life. Yes, it took a horrible, horrible, horrible event to make me learn how fragile life can be. I was that niave person who didn't believe that this could happen to me. Twelve babies in the US die from SIDS a day. Twelve. How could I be one of those 12? Kamryn was only two days old. This is an unheard of young age for SIDS.

So yes, Kylie has become my second chance. Kamryn taught me so much so that I could become the best mother that I could be. I truthfully do not think that things would have turned out this well with kamryn.  Im not saying that I would have been a horrible mother and neglected her.  I would have always been there for her. I just dont know how to explain this really...So I am sure that I sound like a horrible person now